#AND IT MAKES ME CRY TOO oh i am so hyped for this

[nitw]

in order of initial progress so far (is updating)! what the fuck is this game’s problem

EDIT: i had to make flynn’s in 2 parts because what in the sam hill. get it. s. sam ...................................

[mad-hunts]

in response to the other's answer in regards to what jervis would prefer on his toast, jack simply nodded. he'd found himself at a loss for what else to say even though that was actually quite rare for him. maybe it was the idea that barton could be outside at that very moment, listening in, that made jack suddenly feel like a fog had rolled into his mind; making it so that he could protect himself without even knowing for sure that there was a threat in the first place.

barton didn't like talking about julien - he'd pretty much stowed away every single picture but one the family had with him in it, in fact. for it still hurt him too much to look at them. therefore, especially considering his father's history of not being able to regulate his moods well, jack might have to perform 'damage control' if that were the case. but crossing the bridge if he were to get there seemed to apply quite well here. so, the farceur chose to move on and it turned out to be wisely, too.

jervis did look very tense lying there with jack visibly appearing to want to curl up into himself and never come out. after going to the nearby trunk in the room, he opened it. this was done as a means to distract the both of them from succumbing to the weight of their own differing circumstances. though there was certainly a good cover reason for jack to, ❝ oh, wow. ahh... i almost forgot that its supposed to get down into the forties tonight so you might need this. its going to be cold, after all, ❞ it was also hitting sundown at that moment as well.

jack could tell by just looking through the crack in the curtains of the one window in the room. while gnawing on his bottom lip, he pulled out the plush blanket inside of the chest only to shake it out a bit. now, as jack tossed the blanket up just enough to cover jervis's body without touching him? something matilda told him a few years ago echoed in his mind during a conversation they had late at night: 'you know, i know you'd like nothing more than to get rid of all your feelings sometimes - but i hope you never change.'

jack just remembered looking up at the tent he was in that day of camping afterward, as he decided he should probably get to sleep. but it felt validating in a way he couldn't explain as well even now. because jack's first instinct upon seeing jervis was that he was struggling, so he should help him; though one could definitely say that sense of responsibility had made him suffer in the past. thank goodness sucking in a deep breath through his nostrils and exhaling could allow jack to quiet his mind then.

he tilted his head at the other's words and squinting his eyes, deep in thought. of course if jervis didn't believe in one, that was fine, but it appeared like he might. these sorts of concepts could trigger whole debates for a reason, however, as spirituality was something that jack affiliated himself with. but religion? he wasn't so sure, so he more than understood when jervis settled for saying his loved ones being at peace was simply something he wanted to believe in. with jack's sudden exit came the arrival of a much less benevolent figure, to say the least, and barton couldn't say he blamed jervis for seemingly somewhat disappointed that his son left.

jack was easy to get along with, and with just a little bit of time spent with him, he might just win someone over with his compassionate nature. barton knew this well along with the reality he had to learn other people's behaviors throughout the years to appear at least 'semi-normal.' how that was going for the doctor would often depend on who you asked, though. barton could only snort derisively at that, ❝ funny. just remember, you'd be in arkham right now if it weren't for me and my daughter. ❞ he pointed a sharpened nail in the direction of jervis as he proceeded into the room.

the same crack in the curtains jack had once looked through was soon closed with a quick 'swishing' motion. barton was personally raised with a very limited exposure to faith, as neither wesley nor winslow were particularly religious father figures. but barton could admire those who participate in it regardless of their level of involvement in it. though it could be used as a force of evil as much as it could be used for good, a lot of humanity existed in shades of gray.

so even if they were under the threat of suffering through something like eternal damnation after death... in barton's mind, it was only a matter of time before someone used a widespread thing like faith to their own advantage. and maybe this was bad of him but thinking about wesley being in such a place somewhat brought him a sense of twisted satisfaction; because at least barton would be getting a form of justice for every fearful moment wesley put him through that way. barton only blinked as his eyes trailed from jervis's face to the teacup that jack had presumably brought him.

shockingly enough, all he felt when he discovered that marty's father was a powerful figure was an incredible amount of disbelief for a moment before it fizzled away. barton was used to things getting worse even if he couldn't have seen this coming. plus, he'd gotten frighteningly good at treating human lives like this police captain's more as obstacles than actual beings. it remained to be seen which one jervis was to barton. he squinted his eyes before standing up and ultimately finding out that, yeah, he had done that too quickly.

barton felt like he was green around the gills all over again, ❝ that is one way to put it, jervis. but don't worry. you just reminded me that, although we're going to have to get creative, there are ways of getting away with it. i'd say pinning his murder on someone else might be the best. ❞ he uttered after swallowing thickly, making a 'turn around' gesture with his finger towards the other. barton talking about murder as if it was light dinner conversation said everything that needed to be said about how he felt about their current predicament.

maybe it was because he was still feeling a lot of malaise, but no part of it bothered him in particular. the doctor was more worried about jervis becoming queasy because he accidentally saw the scars where he'd stitched on yves's arm to his own body, ❝ uhh, just in case you didn't get that, turn around. i'm going to change my shirt. ❞ once that was done, barton slipped his current bloodied one over his head only to replace it with the other. he slumped down in the chair to the table opposite of jervis and looked over the tarot cards laid out before him.

barton, too, knew how to interpret them. ❝ what were you two planning on doing with these? a 'past, present, and future' reading? because i can do it while my son's gone for you. ❞

Jervis gave the barest of shrugs as he glanced at Jack through his bangs, the quiet rhythm of their breathing, the slow drip of the IV, and the faint shifting of the cards against the tabletop the only sounds piercing the air. "Either one sounds perfectly agreeable. I defer to your good judgment." A ghost of a smile, pale and wan, tugged at his mouth for an infinitesimal moment.

Call it the lingering pangs of paternal instinct or projection, whatever you felt was most appropriate, but some flicker of warmth—worry mingling with concern—stirred within Jervis' breast; softening the veneer of exhaustion and discomfort that clothed him like a second skin. Like an invisible cancer that had latched onto him, draining his vitality—a slow-acting poison decades in the making; only this time, the source was external, a reflection of Jack's own unease radiating across the space between them.

Jervis drew in a shallow breath, feeling the tightness in his chest not as his own, but as if their nerves had blurred and grown entangled. He tried to focus, willing his own breath to steady, his hands to unclench. A low chuckle escaped Jervis' chapped lips at Jack's query. The medications in his IV coursed through him, cold and prickling, sending a frisson over his skin as goosebumps rose in response. And yet, somehow, it eased the deep ache within him, dulling the edges of both pain and nausea. He could feel the weight of his discomfort receding, just slightly, as though the medicine were smoothing his raw nerves; coaxing him toward a delicate, unfamiliar calm.

Not quite like ketamine.... not like the cozy, blithesome feeling that coursed through his veins with each dose. Even when most of his prior consumption of the drug hadn't been consensual—thick enough to cut his teeth on, it ensured small pockets of blissful ignorance hardening into a dissociative shell, like callus. (God bless those poor, ministering angels at Arkham... only a trace of spite and animosity there, rage bleeding with sorrow at how his autonomy and consent was completely ignored, snatched... one wrong move, and he was left cowering in a crumpled heap, or otherwise dead to the world... but now? Would the scales be tipped, if they managed to drag him back there? He wasn’t sure he wanted to know that answer.) If Odysseus and his crew had been desperate to escape the Lotus Eaters only to stumble unwittingly into the clutches of Polyphemus, Jervis felt quite the opposite.

For better or worse, the ketamine had left him numb to everything.

The pain, the grief, the anguish that tore gouges in his heart and mind; lacerated his psyche to shreds, in conjunction with the ECT. Somehow, he compartmentalized it... gravitated to the cannabis as an alternative upon his discharge, once he'd regained his center of gravity and emerged from his self-immurement; the fractures left by his losses and lessons grinding him to the bone. Everything it cost him and what he'd earned in exchange. Simon. Arabella. His time in Ireland. Sylvie. The flood. Alice.

The lengths he had gone...

And so Jervis chuckled; the sound dry and hollow, barely touching his eyes. He met Jack’s gaze, his expression tightening as he mulled over the question, tasting the irony in it.

“An afterlife…” he murmured, his eyes drifting. Thoughts and memories broke the surface like apples bobbing in a bucket: Simon and Stephen putting aside their differences over the blessing at Passover; his and Arabella's quiet, but spirited discussions of Heaven and the saints and catechism, the differences between the Old and New Testaments as they strolled along the shoreline. Stories of the witch trials in Ireland, of John Calvin and his legacy in Scotland.

All the old beliefs he’d grown up with circled back and hit like a tidal wave, tied as much to memories of family as to the concept of religious faith itself, all its beauty and diverse forms, yet it left him feeling frigid now. For a little over three decades, he'd told himself that he could appreciate the mythology of it all, even found it strangely comforting at times, but belief? That had always been a different thing entirely.

Jervis' mind tugged him back to reality. He could sense Jack’s curiosity pressing at the edge of his own awareness, a secondary presence so strong it was almost rendered a physical form. "That's.... a complicated notion, from where I'm standing.” He let out a slow, careful breath; curled his fingers back around his necklace as he dissected the question. “But... yes. I'd like to think our loved ones are at peace."

He could map it all in a dozen lines, right down to his own lived experiences, the rules he tried so hard to follow, the ideals that always seemed to warp and fray. There was karma, consequence, perhaps even the lingering shadows of what people might call a curse. But the idea of any higher being calling the shots? It gnawed at him like an old wound. And so Jervis looked back at Jack, almost apologetic, the faint sting of an old ache flickering beneath his words.

He was spared from elaborating with Barton's sudden appearance; lurking on the threshold like a wraith. Poor Jack's confidence and ease withered like a hapless petunia caught in the dead of winter. A few quiet words of dismissal and a pat to the shoulder were all that heralded the reluctant, leery departure of his one potential ally in the wolf's den.

'As phantoms frighten beasts when shadows fall.' Jervis sighed, slowly pulled himself into a sitting position, looked Barton in the eye; as well as he could, anyway, with the lingering gray spots and his missing glasses still impeding his line of sight. “Maybe we each make our own heaven—or our own hell.”

Perhaps that was petty or harsh of him to say out loud... though that was the truth of the matter. Jervis didn’t need religious belief to drive him, after all; he needed only his own peculiar code, that precarious balance between curiosity and cynicism, and the sense of duty he still felt for a daughter who had deserved something far more stable, more secure; safer than the patchwork life he had known. Whatever his flaws, his faults, some small part of him still respected the right to believe—what faith meant to others; its power to inspire, to build, to destroy. The cause and effect of human history, the double-edged promises of faith. And maybe that was the root of it: faith could be a tool, a guide, a balm.

But then the stark, often bitter truths he’d learned through survival would come rushing back. Besides, he reckoned, Barton likely wouldn't give a damn about any of his prior train of thought. In any case, on the topic of hell, Jervis never pictured the vast, cavernous expanse of fire and brimstone that Jonathan Edwards had once preached about in the summer of 1741. No. Hell always conjured up fevered images of a frozen lake in the deepest, darkest part of the center of the earth, untouched by light and warmth and life—the last of Dante Alighieri's nine circles.

'I sometimes think we must be all mad and that we shall wake to sanity in strait-waistcoats.'

He was torn from the thick mire of his thoughts, yanked back outside his mind as if caught in a sudden hurricane at Barton’s next revelation. Jervis shut his eyes, pinched the bridge of his nose, then reached for the cup of tea Jack had brought him. The liquid within was a warm, golden amber—like sea glass he’d once collected as a child in Bermuda, or the bits Alice would gather along Gotham’s coastline on their rare visits when she was little.

How simple those days were...

"Well." Jervis' voice was completely flat, his brow creasing with incredulity and disgust. Barton’s outline weaved and blurred before his eyes like a will-o’-the-wisp. No more, no more… no room, no room. He felt completely hollow. "Trading one problem for another, are we?" His scarred knuckles bulged as his fingers curled around the delicate porcelain; his grip hard enough to produce a faint, foreboding crack.

He would weep, if he had anymore tears left to shed over their predicament. For Marty and his partner, for the trouble Jack and Matilda had been brought into by association… but none for himself or Barton. He wasn’t certain he was worthy of it; and Barton had no qualms over their actions, he’d freely admitted it at that bistro earlier. Jervis’ hands tingled, as if they were still covered by the bloodied gloves he wore when he dispatched the driver in order to retrieve Alice’s rabbit, wielding his hatpins on pure impulse; there was no premeditation involved, but there was no discounting how surgical his actions had been in their efficacy with each targeted nerve cluster and artery. He wasn’t indulging in self-pity, oh no… nothing so shallow or solipsistic. Not like that at all. Just a pure ant mill of growing dread and horror and regret, one that couldn’t be encompassed by words alone.

His teeth sought the gouges in the corner of his mouth from where he’d previously bit himself in the throes of his nightmares, worrying at the cuts till they began to sting anew.

‘Despair has its own calms.’

[buntanteen]

svt fic recs list <3 - minghao birthday edition - sfw & nsfw ver.

summary: 7 days of xu minghao reader insert fics for his birthday

contains: 18+ nsfw (mdni!!) majority is afab reader

✩ svt writing & fic rec masterlist ✩

✩ sfw section ✩

❥ minghao as your boyfriend - @babyleostuff

OH TO BE CUDDLED BY MINGHAOOOOO!! i loveeee the idea of him putting lil fashion shows on for his partner (i'm not the most fashionable but i love his style and WILL hype the boi up for whatever he puts me in😌) i love him being confident in him and his partner being endgame. he feels like the kind to just be really aware of how and his partner feels :3

❥ minghao boyfriend habits - @odxrilove

AS SOMEONE WHO CANNOT KEEP MY SLEEVES ROLLED UP FOR THE LIFE OF ME, THANK YOUUUU

shut up the writing the initials on the his blank canvases before painting?? like dedicating all his art to reader 🥺 (i also love the idea he'd write the initials at the back of the wood part too :3)

minghao is DEFINITELY the kind to get you a drink when he gets one. bro takes his tea serioussssly

the crook of my necks is yours minghao, whatever you want dude 🥹

❥ whatever you want - @wheeboo

reader fucking up the pronunciation is so on brand for me (...i did chinese lessons for 10 years and idk anything still😭😭)

and of courseeee he'd be a tease about this, this man is so silly and cheeky

terms of endearment make me melttt hehe

❥ dating xu minghao includes - @svtswhorehouse

i WILL learn to make minghao's favourite food to impress him (seeing him and jun always making the members chinese food is so cute to me i love it so much)

i just KNOW he'd be the soothing kind of boyfriend, making sure his partner's wellbeing is all taken care of (and it shows so well in this) 🥰

"slow and sensual kisses"?!?! *kicks feet and giggles*

❥ bf texts with the8! nana tour edition - @kozukensgf

crying and dying this is too funny skdjgbfdkg

him checking in on reader vs the sassy ass texts vs the nana tour mischief

nana tour has such a big spot in my carat heart ahh i love this

✩ nsfw section ✩

❥ midnight cravings - @junkissed

god...he'd be so attentive i cannnnnnnn't rn sjkgfb GOD THIS IS SO HOT SJFKBD (SORRY I DON'T HAVE MANY WORDS I'M BLUSHING TOO MUCH AFTER READING DFKJGB)

❥ goodnight n go - @hannieehaee

i love me a lil idol!reader and 97 liner type fic heh 😌 the fics gave such a natural progression of friendship into romance, which i lovedddd

obsessed with the part about the necklace. he would definietely put so much thought and care into his romantic partner. he cares a lot about his mom's opinion so giving reader something that means a lot to his family seems so on brand

ames note: happy earlyyyyy birthday for minghaoooo!! if anyone is wondering while there's significantly less the8 fics than my usual fic recs, this is cuz i don't read a lot of work about him. i don't see him in a romantic or sexual way, but i really didn't want to leave him with nothing birthday related, so this is what i came up with!! i hope everyone enjoysss~ ς(.>‿<)

[xsaltburnx]

Don't leave me

Comforting Farleigh after Felix's death

Farleigh Start x female reader

a/n: I really wanted to write this because I feel like Farleigh needed someone to comfort him and tell him everything's going to be alright after he got yelled at and he definitely deserved better, poor baby, (also that's what I think the scene is about, if I got it wrong, sorry)

warning: Felix dying, swearing, everybody treating Farleigh like shit, drugs, Farleigh crying a lot

word count: 3,299

You have known Farleigh for as long as you can remember. He's always been there for you. Your rock, your shoulder to cry on, someone who knew all of your secrets and all your problems, always ready to help you. Even if it was 4 pm or 4 am, you called and he was there.

And you were always there for him. Even though most of the times you two were on different continents and hours and miles away from each other, you never let something like that ruin what you two had. Then things started getting a lot easier because Farleigh came to live in England and since then you were inseperable. Yes, you did spend quite some time at Saltburn even when Farleigh wasn't here because you were really good friends with Felix and then later met Venetia, who you've clicked with just like that. Yes, sometimes they had their own opinion on Farleigh and sometimes you hated the way they talked about him but he somehow learned how to shake that off and not take it too seriously, so you did exactly that even though deep down it hurt to listen.

When you joined Oxford university, you and Farleigh became even closer and you eventually fell in love with him. You kept it a secret for quite some time because you were afraid to talk about your feelings because you didn't want to lose him. He was your home and you weren't planning on losing that, but luckily he felt the same and that was it. He was everything you always wanted and you swore you would never let him go or do anything that would harm him or let him battle his problems alone. No fucking way.

Everything was going great. You finished another year at Oxford, celebration obviously planned there and then later at Saltburn. Summer was about to begin and you had a feeling this summer was going to be one to remember. And oh boy it was.. but for very different reasons.

"Hey baby." Farleigh walked into your dorm, closing the door behind him, his arms immedistely wrapping around your body, hugging you from behind. "Did you finish packing?" He aks gently as he looked around the room, your clothes still splatered across the floor and your bed, messier than the first night you came here.

"Shut up." You playfully hit his arm as you heard him chuckle in your ear, his lips connecting with the top of your head in a gentle kiss. "I still have so much to do, I'll never make it in time."

"Yes you will, I'll wait for you, you know I'm not leaving." He spun you around, his hands resting on your waist as he pulled you closer and hugged you tightly, one of those as you called them grizly bear hugs.

"Then help me pack?" You batted your eyelashes at him and made a pouty face, hoping it would work.

"Oh no, that's not fair, don't do that, you know I can't resis that face" He said and kissed your lips swiftly, his fingers tucking a strand of hair behind your ear. "Of course I'll help."

"Is anybody else coming with us?" You asked while folding your t-shirts, placing them neatly inside your suitcase.

"Oliver fucking Quick." Farleigh trailed off.

"What?" You quickly turned around to look at him, unsure if you heard that correctly. You obviously didn't like him, I mean Fekix though he was a very inspiring person but you and Farleigh? You didn't get the hype and always held him on his toes.

"Yeah, Felix invited him. I don't know why, something about him not wanting to go home because of his parents."

"Do Elspeth and James know that?" You asked, crossing your arms.

"Yes, apparently Elspeth is extremely excited to meet him. That'll be interesting." Farleigh closed one of your bags and placed it on his shoulder. "Damn, what do you have in here, rocks?"

"Very funny, no, all the vibrators you gave me." You said, laughing, seriousness washed over his face.

"Oh really?" He dropped the bag on the floor and grabbed your waist, hoisting your body up on his shoulder, his large hand smacking you on the ass. Your laugh echoed throughout the room, probably audible outside too, but that's how Farleigh always wanted you to be. Such beautiful laughter, it was like music to his ears, like daisies adorning a beautiful meadow. He gently put you down on the bed and laid on top of you, his thumb caressing your soft cheek.

"I love you." He whispered, a special kind of sparkle in his eyes, a smile plastered on his face.

"I love you too, Farleigh." His hot breath washed over your face, his lips slightly brushed yours before he kissed you gently, a moment of bliss before the big storm.

~ ° * ° ~

Summer at Saltburn? Always crazy and busy, but the busy part? Partying and laying out on the freshly cut grass or swimming in the pool. That was all you did there every summer. Not a bad life, you always thought to yourself, but sometimes it was nice to go back to reality and to a real life.You'd be lying if you said you didn't get used to this kind of life, the glamour, the dinner parties, dressing up,it was quite fun to a certain point. When it was too much, you and Farleigh packed your bags and left for a week or two, all alone, away from all of it. But to someone, this life was inviting them in more and more as each day passed.

And then the Cattons decided to throw Oliver a birthday party. 200 people? 300? You lost count. I mean if it's a party then it's a great idea, but for the entire night Farleigh had a very strange feeling about everything that night. He watched Oliver just skulk around almost every room in the house, people not paying too much attention to him. Most of them only knew him as "the birthday boy" but only a few of them knew his actual name. There was something strange about him, Farleigh always kept an eye on him.

...and he was right...

Around 11 am you felt someone shaking your body, trying to wake you up. You opened your eyes and saw Farleigh standing in front of you and you immediately knew something was wrong. His eyes were wide and his hands were shaking, his mannerisms completely different than how he usually is.

"What is it?" You asked and instantly sat up on the bed, fear in your eyes and in your voice, your heart suddenly picking up its pace, a sudden wave of ringing filling up your ears.

"Felix is missing." Farleigh trailed off.

"What?" You quickly got up and didn't even bother to put on shoes. You ran outisde and saw Venetia in the water, walking around, waving her hands underwater. You ran towards her with Farleigh, both of you joining her, hoping he's not in here and that he's fine. Then you heard a gut wrenching scream coming from the maze. You looked at Farleigh and instantly felt tears well up in your eyes. You shook your head and walked as quickly as possible to the edge, climbed and got up, the three of you running towards the maze.

You knew the maze like the back of your hand so it was easy to get to the center, but at that moment you wish that you could just get lost in there because what you all saw was something you would never be able to forget as it was buried inside you mind very deeply.

Felix was laying there on his stomach, golden wings still attached to his back. His body a pale colour, almost a hint of blue, his beautiful eyes now without that incredible spark that you got so used to seeing. His lifeless body was something you never thought you would have to see in your life nor did you want to but for some reason you couldn't look away.

Venetia, you and Farleigh fell to your knees, grasping onto one another, looking for comfort as tears just started coming out, the pain in your chest unlike anything you've ever experienced before. It was as if someone ripped out your heart, a huge hole right in the middle of your chest. Your ears started ringing and you felt like you were going to pass out. You suddenly felt like you weren't on this planet anymore, completely disoriented and if Farleigh and Venetia weren't grasping onto your body, you don't know how you would have dealt with this alone. You let out a loud scream, your chest convulsing from all the sobs that kept coming out of your body.

You don't know how or when you got up, left the maze and changed your clothes or when on earth did everybody gather for lunch, but there you were, sitting at the table with James, Elspeth, Venetia, Farleigh, oh and yes, of course, Oliver.

The curtains shut as the room plunged into darkness, making it look red like blood, not a hint of daylight. It somehow looked terrifying and gruesome, very unpleasant. You were sitting next to Farleigh, his face kind of emotionless as he kept staring at the table, not moving his gaze from the same spot. You reached out to him, grabbing his hand and squeezing it, making him snap out of his thoughts, a sob suddenly falling from his lips. On your left was an empty chair and an empty plate. Felix's spot and when you first walked in and saw it, you broke down again.

Suddenly there was a hint of a squeaking gurney on the outside, meaning they were passing the window with Felix's body and then there was a sound of doors closing. A tear rolled down your cheek as you closed your eyes, your hand suddenly slipping away from Farleigh's.

"Oh my God... May I be excused, please?" Farleigh whimpered and got up from the table, his cheeks stained with tears.

"No. We haven't finished lunch." James replied, not even looking at Farleigh.

"Lunch is cold. You want me just eat it like nothing is happening?"

"What else is there to do, darling?" Elspeth looked at him, sadness noticable in her eyes.

"Anything! Anything-" You looked at him as he screamed out, a whimper escaping your lips as tears started falling from your eyes again. The pain was unbearable and seeing Farleigh like that broke your heart and how everybody acted like nothing ever happened, like Farleigh was the only one who actually cared and the only one who saw how messed up it was that everybody was acting like this. James slammed his fists on the table, the plates clattering. You jumped, your body shook from fear, the sudden change in tone almost too much.

"Farleigh! Will you be quiet?! Sit down and eat the bloody pie! Just eat it! Eat it and shut up! Eat the bloody pie!"

Farleigh sat down and grabbed his fork, placing the pie in his mouth but unable to chew through the meat. Small pieces flew out of his mouth and onto the plate, a tear rolling down his cheek.

"You're not the only person here with feelings. None of us wants your bloody American feelings!" James trailed off and suddenly there was silence inside the room. You didn't even try to put anything in your mouth because you felt like you were going to throw up.

"I think it’s delicious." Oliver suddenly said, Farleigh snapping at him.

"What the fuck are you still doing here?" you look at Oliver and his expression and there was nothing on his face. Like he didn't care. You wiped away your tears and placed your hands in your lap.

"Wait, does no one else find it weird?.. No one else finds that weird?"

"Farleigh.." you whispered and placed your hand on top of his, your fingers grazing his in a comforting way.

"I wouldn’t throw stones if I was you, Farleigh." Oliver replied in a strict tone, a fork in his hand.

"Excuse me?"

"Please stop." Venetia sighed and said quietly.

"What is he saying?" James asked and looked at Oliver.

"I..I've no idea." Farleigh said, clearly confused what Oliver wanted to get with all of this.

"What I'm saying is that I'd feel guilty too."

"Guilty?"

"If I was the one racking up lines the night someone died."

"Fuck you." Farleigh stared back at him, cursing, only hate for Oliver in his body at that very moment.

"That's not a denial." Oliver replied as he leaned forward a little bit, his gaze moving between you and Farleigh.

"You took it too far, Oliver." You interrupted them, defending Farleigh.

"Is that true?" James asked, pale with fury. He looked towards Duncan signaling him to leave. "Search Farleigh's room."

"No." Farleigh crumpled into his chair and started sobbing. Now you were a little bit scared. Your eyes widened, not surely understanding what they were going to do about this situation. Seeing and hearing what was happening was making the situation even harder. You couldn't take your eyes off Farleigh and when you saw tears continuously welling up in his eyes, you couldn't help but start sobbing as well. Your heart was breaking.

"Get out." Sir James said angrily.

"Please, he didn't do anything.." You looked at Sir James, begging, trying to make him see that it really wasn't his fault and that he had nothing to do with all of this. Of course he didn't believe you, he didn't even acknowledge you.

"No, wait-" Farleigh whimpered and wiped away his tears with the sleeves of his jumper.

"What's happening?" Elspeth asked after wiping her mouth eith a linen cloth.

"Aunt Elspeth- Elspeth-" he said desperately but got interrupted by James.

"Don’t you dare look at her!"

Elspeth looked liked she was now ignoring Falreigh, not wanting to look at him at all. Could she ever look at him again after this? Who knows.

"Get out!"

Farleigh looked around the table, searching for somebody to look at him, to see they were making a mistake but no one looked at him except for you. Not even Oliver. He got up your hand slipped off, hanging next to your body. Your lip trembled at the sudden empty feeling, your head hung low as you kept staring at your fingers. Farleigh grabbed onto the chair, picking at the stitching.

"I won't mention this to the police. That's all you get. Nothing more. Ever again." James trailed off and that was the last thing you heard from him that night. Farleigh turned to the side and left the room, leaving you alone with the Cattons and Oliver. You wiped away your tears with the back of your hand.

"You didn't have to do this. It wasn't his fault." You snapped back at Oliver, his eyes quickly looking back at you. A hidden smirk adorned his face, a sinnister look in his eyes.

"You know he did it. He was racking up lines the whole night. Felix could've taken whatever Farleigh was using." Oliver replied, his plate now half empty. "Even when you two were fucking outside. It was like a freak show."

"Fuck you." You quickly got up and threw the linen clot on the table, your legs feeling like jello. "If you'll excuse me, I can't be in the room with someone who cares more about a fucking stranger than a member of this family."

You turned around on your heels and walked out of the room. The second you closed the doors, you let out the biggest sob, a long hallway making it echo throughout the house. You felt like you were falling apart from the inside out.

You stood outside Farleigh's room as you quietly knocked on the door, only a quiet sob audible. You silently opened the door and what you saw broke your heart completely. Farleigh was laying on the floor, his knees pulled towards his body, his arms wrapped around them as loud sobs fell from his lips.

You looked around his room and saw how big of a mess it was. Everything was scattered on the floor. His clothes, his books, all of his belongings on the floor. You bit your lip in hopes it would stop you from crying, but it didn't help.

You walked over to his sobbing figure and knelt down, your arms immediately wrapping around his body.

"Farleigh... baby.." you whispered, his body shaking.

"They think I killed him." He whispered through his cries, his tears soaking the carpet underneath him. "I didn't do it." His cries kept getting louder and it was harder for you to stay quiet because you couldn't stand him being like this, broken, like he didn't mean anything to anybody. Like it was all his fault. You wanted to fix everything and make it all okay for him because that's exactly what he deserved. He deserved better and to be treated right.

"No, Farleigh, you didn't do it. It's not your fault, please don't think that. You didn't kill Felix." You told him, your hands caressing his arms, comforting him, hoping it would help him even just a little bit.

"Now I feel like I did." He cried out, his face now buried in his hands.

"Hey, come here." You grabbed his arm and gently pulled him, moving his hands from his face. You intertwined your fingers with his and helped him sit up, his knees once more pulled towards his body. You wiped away his tears with your thumbs, gently caressing his cheeks before you cupped his face, making him look at you directly in your eyes.

"You didn't do it, why would you think that? Because of Oliver?" He just nooded and closed his eyes, a single tear rolling down his cheek. It felt like someone was sitting on your chest, the pressure and the pain in your heart from seeing Farleigh like this was unbearable.

"Fuck him, Farleigh. He's a nobody, a fucking leech and if I could get rid of him, I would. You're so much more than all of this. You deserve everything in this world and if they can't see it, fuck 'em." You trailed off, tears welling up in your eyes and your voice breaking every other word.

"Everybody is leaving me, pushing me away like I mean nothing." He sobbed and quickly got up as he started pacing around his room, his cries so loud that it seemed like he was fighting for air. You jumped up and stood there in place for a few seconds, somehow unable to move.

"Are you also going to leave me?" His voice cracked and right then he looked like a little kid. You dare to say that he looked absolutely defeated. "Please don't leave me."

A loud cry fell from your lips, his words hurting you, hurting how he thought that you would actually leave him after everything. You shook your head and practically ran towards him, your body smashing into his

You wrapped your arms around him tightly, your face buried in his chest as you sobbed quietly. His arms squeezed you, almost as if he was afraid if he held you lightly or if he let you go, you would somehow slip away.

"I will never leave you, Farleigh. I could never. You're a part of me and if I lose you, I'll lose myself. Please don't ever think that I would leave you." He kissed the top of your head, one hand still wrapped around your body while the other gently caressed your hair.

"Now let's get out of here. Okay?" You kissed him on the lips gently, his arms resting on your hips. You had to get out of this house, had to get away from Saltburn as soon as possible. The only good thing about all of this? Farleigh by your side.

"Okay."

[ilypaigebuckets]

hi so basically pretend this isn’t a day late!

plot: small blurb of you spending kate’s day with kate!

Happy Birthday - Kate Martin x Reader

the aces had welcomed kate into their team with open arms, and along with that they welcomed you too. you were your girlfriend’s best friend, hype woman, confidant, and her stylist. whenever she went you were there too, and vice versa. that was why when you were invited to travel with the aces to the dallas game as a special gift to kate for her birthday, you couldn’t resist. you had planned on going anyway, not wanting to miss your girlfriend’s birthday, but a free plane ticket and a spot next right next to kate on the plane was definitely a plus.

“time to wake up, birthday girl,” you whispered into your girlfriend’s ear as you placed your hand on her shoulder and lightly shook her. the blonde rolled on her back and pulled you into her chest. she attempted to bury her face in your hair, and you laughed at her antics. kate was not a morning person. while the warmth of kate’s body heat was nice and cuddles with her were always tempting, you knew kate needed to get up. you gently hoisted yourself out of the nest of warmth and comfort you called your girlfriend’s chest and stood up to your feet. you grabbed her hand and started to pull her up. “i know you’re sleepy lovey, but it’s your birthday! aren’t you excited?!”

the very sleepy form of your girlfriend got up reluctantly and pulled you in by the waist. “since it’s my birthday, i can be as clingy as i want right princess?” you couldn’t help but giggle at her, she was the sweetest.

“of course, kate!” you said as you led her into the bathroom to start getting ready for the day. kate didn’t need to do much, as she never really wore any makeup. you, however, wanted to look nice for your girlfriend’s special day. you did your makeup routine as she stood next to you with her back pressed against the wall, a dazed and sleepy smiled plastered to her face. once you were finished kate came up behind you and wrapped her arms around your waist, burying her head in your neck.

“my pretty baby,” she muffled into your neck. you smiled softly as her sweet words tickled against your skin. you loved mornings spent with her. just then, you remembered what you’d planned to give to kate to start her birthday off special. you grabbed her hand, gave a quick kiss to her knuckles, and lead her back outside the bathroom to the bed. you rummaged through your purse hanging on the door knob and pulled out an envelope.

“here,” you said as you handed it to her, “you can open your card now, and then you’ll get your gift after the game.” kate rolled her eyes at you, but smiled.

“honey you didn’t have to get me anything. having you here with me this year is more than enough. you really didn’t have to-“

you put a finger up to her lips to shush her. “just open the damn card, martin.” she nodded and started to open the envelope. her fingers worked slowly and carefully, in an effort to preserve the card and envelope for later.

the card read: HAPPY BIRTHDAY BABY! 24! i can’t believe you’re such an old lady. i hope you have the best day ever my gorgeous girl, you deserve it! you’re such a light in my life and im so blessed to have met you. you’re my sunshine and you deserve the entire world. i hope you know how grateful i am for you, and everything you do. it doesn’t go unnoticed and i really hope you know how much i appreciate you. you’re my soulmate, kate. there’s no better way to put it. i was put on earth to love you. i hope i do today justice in making your birthday as special, spectacular, and lovely as you are! and i hope you’re ready to have some fun ;) :) i love you beautiful girl. you’re my whole world!

“oh my god, y/n. you’re actually adorable i’m gonna cry!” kate pulled you in swiftly to a hug. you chuckled lightly and leaned into her, your forehead resting on her chest. “there’s a lot more i could say, but i figured it’d be better if i just told you in person. but we’ll save that for tonight! now c’mon babe, you have a game to win!” you tugged your girlfriend over to her suitcase, urging her to change. you were so excited for what the day had in store, and were forever grateful you could spend your girlfriend’s special day with her.

[mine0560]

I NEED TO RANT ABOUT RAGATHA AND POMNI BECAUSE HOLLY DAMN THERE'S SO MUCH IN MY HEAD!

Ok. So. Firstly I love that first thing Ragatha did was check on Pomni and even told her she doesn't mind but actually understands that she abandoned her. AND THOSE FINGER GUNS?! SHE IS GAY AND LOVES HER GURL. DON'T EVEN TRY TO DENY IT

SECOND

Ragatha carrying about Pomni and trying to hype her up. (Would say so far Ragapom is onesided and I am all for that) Ragatha is trying her best to make conversation with that jester but also trying to help her get use to or evem enjoy this new life. OMG THAT WOMAN IS FULL OF POSITIVE ENERGY.

THIRD

Even she got stabbed, their car crashed and they could DROWNED her priority is fricking Pomni. Yes she ask everyone how they are, but imidiately switch to :"Poor Pomni" EVEN JAX POINTED THAT OUT! LIKE GIRL. YPU ARE ALMOST DYING BUT STILL CARRING ABOUT YOUR GIRLFRIEND.

FORTH

When they catches those bandits, who is asking where her girl is? RAGATHA. She is so worry about that jester and where she dissapeared.

FIFTH

SHE IS DOUBING THAT POMNI EVEN LIKES HER. SHE IS WORRY THAT POMNI DISLIKES OR EVEN HATES HER. Like....She likes ther that much, that she is worry about that she doesn't like her. AAAAAA THEY WILL MAKE ME CRY

SIXTH

After they Pomni with Gummigoo crashed into them she IMIDIATELY RUNS AFTER HER TO ASK HER IF SHE'S OK AND WHERE SHE WAS. LIKE AAAAAA. SHE IS SO WORRY ABOUT HER I WILL DIE.

And lastly I FRICKING LOVE HOW POMNI FINALLY GETS THAT THOSE PEOPLE CARES ABOUT HER AND WON'T FORGET HER. I NEED MORE. I AM TOO EXCITED FOR ANOTHER EPISODES AND NEEDS MORE INTERACTIONS BETWEEN RAGATHA AND POMNI

Oh bonus. I hate Jax even more. I knew he will be an asshole but this much? DAMN

(Well my angst comic is doomed because Ragatha was interacting with that proncess like for a minute of that whole 25 minutes episode. Can work again)

OVERALL I LOVE THAT EPISODE. Since in my country it was premiere at like midnight I can't sleep now.

It's 2 fricking am and I needed to get those feelings out of me because everyone are sleeping

[ghostpebble]

SONIC MOVIE 3 SPOILERS AND RANT BELOW :)

SOBBING. SOBBING. SOBBING. WATCHED IT YESTERDAY AND I WAS CRYING THE WHOLE MOVIE BECAUSE THEY USED IT. THEY USED LIVE AND LEARN. AND NOT JUST ONCE. A MOTIF. THEY GAVE SHADOW A LIVE AND LEARN MOTIF. I AM EXTREMELY INDESCRIBABLY HAPPY. LET'S FUCKING GO

PLUS: EGGMAN'S MOTIF!!! IT WAS HERE!! THEY USED IT!! AND IT WAS ORCHESTRAL. BEAUTIFUL.

SONIC'S ESCAPE FROM THE CITY PLAYED, TOO, BUT NOT AS CONSISTENTLY. BUT ALSO, WHOEVER WROTE IN HAVING SONIC SAY "FOLLOW ME" UH HUH. I SAW YOU. YOU DID THAT ON PURPOSE AND I LOVED IT

I WANT THE DONUT LORD SWEATER. THAT NEEDS TO BE MERCH. I DONT CARE HOW MUCH IT IS. IF SOMEONE MAKES IT DM ME I WANT ONE THANK YOU

SPEAKING OF DONUT LORD. I KNEW THEY WOULDN'T KILL HIM OUTRIGHT BUT OH MY GOD WAS I CONFLICTED. BECAUSE ON ONE HAND, OH MY GOD. SHADOW JUST BROKE LIKE ALL OF TOM'S RIBS. NO PLEASE NO. BUT ON THE OTHER HAND... OH MY GOD. YES. THIS WILL BE PERFECT FOR SONIC AND SHADOW'S PARALLEL.

AGAIN, SPEAKING OF: PARALLELS, SPECIFICALLY THE TIME HOPS IN SHADOW'S MEMORIES OF MARIA. BRUTAL. CRIED THE WHOLE TIME. THAT RECORD PLAYER ONE REALLY GOT ME. GOD DAMN. PLUS, THE PARALLELS FROM TOM'S HEART TALK THE ENTIRE MOVIE AND ESPECIALLY THE MOON SCENE. CRYING. I KNEW IT THE WHOLE TIME BUT STILL. CRYING.

ALSO, OPEN YOUR HEART. SPEAK WITH YOUR HEART. WE'RE WINNING

DAMN: WHY DID EGGMAN GET TO SAY DAMN BUT NOT SHADOW

AND ALSO, NO FAKER! THERE WAS THE CONVO ABOUT WHY DO YOU LOOK LIKE ME, BUT NO FAKER :(( MAYBE NEXT TIME

I MIGHT BE REMEMBERING WRONG, IT MIGHTVE BEEN FROM THE KNUCKLES SERIES I WATCHED BEFORE, BUT OH MY GOD. THE WACHOWSKI KIDS' BEDS. KNUCKLES AND SONIC IN THEIR CARS ARE CUTE, BUT OH MY GOD TAILS AND HIS AIRPLANE.

OSSIE!! MORE OSSIE!! LOVE OSSIE. THANK YOU

CHAO GARDEN! AGENT STONE BEING A BADASS CONSISTENTLY. I LOVED AGENT STONE THIS WHOLE MOVIE. HE REALLY GOT A LOT OF DEVELOPMENT. LOVE HIM. ALSO A LITTLE SAD SONIC DIDN'T END UP WEARING A SPEED OR DARK CHAO MASK TO LOOK LIKE HIMSELF OR SHADOW, MISSED POTENTIAL :( STILL FUNNY

WALTERS' DEATH WAS UNEXPECTED TO ME NGL, JUST BECAUSE IT WAS SO ABRUPT. LIKE... OKAY. I GUESS. COOL. MAN'S DEAD.

THE MARIA BEING PULLED BY SHADOW ON SKATES. EVERYTHING MARIA. EVEN WITHOUT THE ILLNESS, THAT WAS THE PERFECT MARIA AND SHADOW DUO. YES

TBH, I LIKED THE GERALD AND IVO DUO. IT WAS SILLY. THEY WERE THE COMEDY IN AN OTHERWISE VERY HEAVY MOVIE STILL SOMEWHAT AIMED AT KIDS. SOME THINGS HAD ME LAUGHING BECAUSE IT WAS SO WRONG, LIKE THE SPANKING AND HOW GERALD JUST GOT ZAPPED LIKE A FLY IN AN ELECTRIC SWATTER. ALSO, EASY TO EXPLAIN GERALD'S AGE, HE KEPT LICKING SHADOW'S QUILL, WHICH IS LIKELY WHAT KEPT HIM ALIVE SO LONG. SO YEAH. I DIDNT THINK IT WAS BAD, MAYBE A LITTLE WEIRD, BUT THATS THE ROBOTNIK FAMILY'S THING

SHADOW'S "BOO." ENOUGH SAID

DID SHADOW REALLY HAVE TO SLAM SONIC'S FACE INTO THE GLASS LIKE THAT LMAO

ALSO SHADOW KICKED TAILS!!! THE STREAK CONTINUES

IT IS NOT LOST ON ME THAT SONIC'S POV BEGINS AT HIS B-EARTH-DAY PARTY. FUN REFERENCE TO GENERATIONS

LIVE AND LEARN. STILL HAPPY. JUST WANTED TO SAY IT AGAIN. THE WHOLE DOUBLE SUPER SCENE AND THEIR OWN FIGHT AND THE FIGHT AGAINST THE BOTS. EVERYTHING. PERFECTION. SOBBED. THE SUN RISE AND LOVE STILL EXISTING EVEN AFTER THE SOURCE IS GONE LIKE THE LIGHT. STILL SOBBING

THE WAY THEY HAD ROBOTNIK LEFT ON THE STATION LEAVES ME TO BELIEVE THEY LEFT IT OPEN ENDED ON IF HE LIVED SO THAT JIM CARREY HAD THE OPTION TO COME BACK, AND THATS FINE BY ME :)

PISSED ON THE MOON AND THE BROADCAST?? AND IT WAS A BROADCAST FOR STONE SPECIFICALLY??? WE ARE SO FUCKING BACK

SHADOW'S INHIBITORS. YES. HIM FALLING TO EARTH, ALTHOUGH DIFFERENT FROM THE GAME. YES. YES. YES.

1ST POST CREDIT OF METAL SONIC AND THE MISS AMY ROSE. HELL YEAH. IM SO HYPED. METAL LOOKS ABSOLUTELY AMAZING AND AMY IS SO CUTE. WONDERING HOW THAT'LL LEAD INTO THE NEXT MOVIE THOUGH?? WHO KNOWS

2ND POST CREDIT WITH PARALLELS?? WITH SHADOW LANDING ON EARTH IN A FIELD ALL ALONE FOR A SECOND TIME, THIS TIME MAYBE AMNESIAC AND HAVING TO ADJUST TO EARTH AGAIN?? OH MY GOD?? I WAS SO HAPPY THEY DIDN'T END UP JUST KILLING HIM OFF, ALTHOUGH IT WOULDVE BEEN REALLY GOOD. IF HE HAD DIED THOUGH, HE PROBABLY WOULDVE GOTTEN A LAST WORD IN TO MARIA ANYWAY, BUT STILL GLAD HE'S IN IT TO WIN IT

PLUS SHADOW SPIN OFF SERIES!! AND NEXT MOVIE IN 2027. THANK YOU KEANU FOR MAKING OUR FIRST MOVIE DREAMS COME TRUE, THANK YOU SONIC MOVIE TEAM, THANK YOU ALL CAST

THIS WAS MY TED TALK THANK YOU FOR READING

[sweetieviktor]

"take me back to the night we met", feat. viktor.

summary: you knew he was dieing, but seeing him using shimmer was too much to bare . based on the song "the night we met", by lord huron.

word count: 720.

content warning: season 1, act 3 spoilers! idk if shimmer use count as a cw, but anyways this is angst and it doesn't have a happy ending!

author notes: there's so much time since i've written fanfiction!! but i loved doind this one and i swear that i cried while writing this. and this may be very ooc and doesn't match the scenes in season 1, act 3, but i dont have time to watch it again now and i was so hyped up bcs of season 2 that i just had to write something, yk? also, there may be some typos or grammar errors even though i re-read this like 3 times i think lol. but yeah, here it is!

you came back to his lab expecting to see him doing good, maybe working on his research, too focused on any stuff he was doing at the moment and not noticing you by the door, but he wasn't in there, or so it looked like.

he was hunched over his desk, in his hands was a glass tube, the remaining of the purple liquid shimmering in the dark room, illuminating just enough to draw his weak silhouette amongst the shadows.

“viktor…?” was everything you said while getting closer to him, walking with slow steps, trying to make no sounds to alarm him.

“stop.” raising a hand, that was all he said.

just as you were told, you stopped on your tracks, observing that, his once perfect hand, was now painted in a shade of purple, the same that was inside the glass recipient.

it can't be. right?

“what you did to yourself?”

“i did what needed to be done.” he was so baretoned, you didn't understand why he seemed so rude, so crude, so… unlike him.

when his words settled in, it felt like your stomach was turning, wrapping itself around your guts, making you sick. you felt sick, for him.

“please, please, viktor, don't tell me that you're using sh-” “yes.”

of course you knew about his condition, of course you knew he wasn't doing good at all, and mostly, you knew that things were meant to end, one way or another. but you didn't think he would kill himself like this.

and this was all you needed to break.

“why you didn't told me? i could have helped you, we could find a way to work through it,” the tears started to prick on your eyes, your voice breaking, the anger at yourself pooling into your core. “you wouldn't need to use shimmer, vik...”

the feeling that the universe stole and took all that once mattered to you was what drove you insane. the feeling that you could make things different, make things better, the oh so simple solution that you could find, if only he had told you.

“it’s not that easy! you wouldn't understand if i told you sooner. no one would understand it, even if they tried really hard to.” he turned his head towards your direction, looking at your face for a brief second, before turning his gaze back to the ground, his purple irises trying to focus on something that wasn't your saddened face, now, feeling his own eyes burning, burning even more than the blood running in his veins. “we are in piltover, the city of progress, and yet, i am stuck behind, and i'm dieing. so, i needed to do something, and i did.”

“what you don’t understand is that you're destroying yourself, viktor. destroying yourself so slowly that it almost feels like torture. i fear that i wouldn't be able to see you for another day.” you sobbed, the tears rolling down and he didn't dare to look at your eyes again, he knew that you were crying. he knew it and he couldn't bear the thought that he was the one that made you cry. “if there is a god somewhere, i wish they could turn back time and take me back to the night we met. maybe things could be different, right?”

looking at him, a weak, nervous smile was all you could get out while crying, thinking to yourself when things started to get this wrong and how you let it happen, without even realizing what was wrong. how could you let him do this to himself?

your body was shaking, it felt like the whole world was trembling. the nonstoping thoughts hammering your head, your heart a mile per minute, the air in your lungs wasn't enough. everything, everything seemed like it was crushing down on you, right in this moment.

“i'm sorry. i'm so sorry... i need to go. now.”

you needed to get out of here, you needed to breathe.

you headed back to the door, wishing that some cold breeze would cool you down, would just stop your mind and racing heart. wishing for him to be fine again. praying for any and all gods that lived in the skies and beyond, praying for him to be alive. just for a bit more.

[itsbackwoodsbby]

A/N:y'all i'm seriously not a haechan girl. but i wrote this for my friend @becauseimswagman1 (i am always writing for this whore lol, i love her tho.) a while back and i decided to share it with y'all.

Birthday Sex

Haechan x Black Fem Reader

Warning: Smut! Drinking (maybe i drink too much)! Unprotected Sex! Swearing (i love cussing sorry)

Summary: It’s your birthday bitchhh!!! Happy Birthday! In this, you will see how Hyuck celebrate your birthday.

hyuck never was one for public outings. he rather be lowkey and stay inside. but tonight was different. it was your birthday. and after you told him you’ve never celebrated your birthday, he wanted to change that.

you two order food and wait for it to be served to you. hyuck does nothing the whole time but hype your head, making you smile. when the food comes, you take a picture on snapchat, with the caption, “birthday dinner date with babe! #22FINALLY” you post and you guys eat the food.

haechan and you just talk and eat. the normal couple stuff about the future: marriage and kids. ideally, hyuck wants to start a music group of his own, but he said he’ll settle for two or three kids, which is perfect for you. as for marriage, it’s no secret that hyuck wants to marry you right now, on the spot. but he’s waiting for his baby girl to be ready.

after you guys eat, you go out dancing and drinking. you just turned twenty-one, so why the hell not. a few drinks in, you two went from simple dancing to sensual and seductive dancing. he’s touching all over your body as you're grinding on him. everyone is looking at you two, but y’all don’t give a damn. y’all are having fun. hyuck starts kissing on your neck and smacking your ass. your body temperature was rising as you want more than just to feel his touch. you wanted to feel him inside you right now, and you can tell he wanted the same because you could feel him starting to have an erection. that turned you on even more. 

hyuck starts lowering down your body  and when he reaches your shorts, he realized they’re a little wet. he bites his lips and whispers in your ear, “you soaking through your shorts… why are you soaking this much baby?” then he processes to suck on your neck making marks. “hyuck… can we please leave?” you moan very low. 

he smiles and takes you to his house, where there are rose petals leading to the his bedroom. inside his room, is even more rose petals and champagne on ice and chocolate covered strawberries and whipped cream, which was your favorite. the bed has rose petals in a heart shape. you tear up. no one has ever done something special for you on your birthday. hyuck holds you and kisses you forehead. 

“thank you! i love you, hyuck” you say, trying not to cry. “ugh, you going to make me ruin my makeup.” he smirks, “i am going to ruin your makeup later anyways don’t worry.” 

he lays you down on the bed and attacks your neck with kisses, and switches between kissing and sucking. when he starts lowering down your body, he strips both of you down and instantly starts eating you out. eating you as if he hasn’t ate in days. you grabbing the sheets, trying not to climax fast, but tonight his tongue is working new miracles. he adds two fingers in and starts pumping inside of you really fast.

“hyuck… slow down, please baby. it’s too much.” you say whimpering, but you knew hyuck wasn’t going to slow down. 

a few more pumps, you’re coming on his face. he smiles and lick your mess up. he comes up to you and kisses you with tongue, making you taste how sweet you are. he goes back down and smiles. he flips you over and aims his dick at your entrance. “wait, no condom?” you ask him, while looking back at him. “not tonight.” he smirks. “i want you to feel every inch of me.” he says.

he smacks your ass, making you yelp then, he rams inside you, giving you no time to adjust to him. he starts pulling your hair as he processed to go faster. “hyuck, oh my god, fuck!” you say as he shoves more of his dick inside you. he just slyishly smiles at you, “that’s right, take this dick for me. i know you can, you little slut.”

at this point, you can do nothing but whimper and cry. your makeup is all on the pillow and smeared on your face. hyuck has never been a gentle man when it comes to sex, but he’s never been this rough either. he’s damn near going crazy, loves the fact that he breaking you. 

you start running from his dick a little, he pulls you back, “nah baby girl, don’t run. i promise. you’ll regret.” you catch yourself fully running away from hyuck. he pulls  you back but he lets slide. but you know you can’t make another mistake or it’s over for you.

but silly you makes another mistake. you were on the verge of climaxing. the more he hit (more like abused) your spot, the more you clench around his dick. “you better hold that shit baby girl. you don’t, it going to be much fucking worse than this.” he says before pounding even more aggressively into, making you disobey him, and cumming all on his dick.

he pulls out and smirks, “who told you to cum?” he smacks your ass very hard. “i know i damn sure didn’t.” you start begging for his forgivness, “hyuck, please, i am sorry. i didn’t mean to.”

but hyuck is stubborn and he doesn’t forgive you so simply. he flips you on your back and rams back inside you, repeating the same process of when he had your ass in the air. this time, however, it’s different. he breaking you down even more this time, which his dick and his eyes. his hand has better access to your clit, and he’s rubbing it, making it more senstive than it already was from your second climax. with the other hand he was choking, which was driving you mad crazy.

you’re on the verge of your third climax of the night and your legs starts shaking uncontrollably. hyuck notices, and smirks, “you want to cum baby girl.” you choking on your pleasure tears, so you just shake your head yes. he laughs a bit, “words baby girl, words.” he says smacking your boobs. you stop choking on your tears, but words can’t come out your mouth. he laughs cockily, “well, until you find words, this pussy about to be destroyed.” 

he starts pounding inside you even more aggressive than last time. it somehow brung words back to you, “fuck! fuck! fuck! hyuck, i want to cum for you daddy. please, please, please let me cum for you.” you cry, warm tears run down your face. he smiles at you, “that’s my good girl, cum for daddy.” he says. 

you cum on his dick one last time for the night (or so you think). hyuck’s strokes starts getting slower and sloppier. then, he pulls out and cums on your stomach. he looks down at you and laughs. “did i break my princess?” you look at hyuck and cover your face in embarrassment. he chuckles and moves your hands and kisses all over your face. “don’t be embarrassed, baby. you look sexy whimper and breaking over me.” 

you smile and kiss him. you two kiss for a while and then he goes and grabs a towel to clean his mess of your stomach. though, when he comes back, most of it is already gone. he looks at you and you giggle, “i didn’t want to waste my food.” he smirks and cleans you up. 

he lays in the bed with you. you thank him for making your twenty second birthday a night to remember and the two of you end the night drinking champagne, feeding each other strawberries, and eventually, you guys fuck the night away.

[fromkenari]

@alliwantforchristmasislou

I don't talk about my identity a lot because I live in a town in the 2/3rds of the state that is red despite it being a blue state. I'm not accepted, nor is it really safe for me open about it beyond my friends, and the sad thing is I have only one other friend in this town with the same pronouns as me and my friends, all of whom are queer positive and a bunch of whom are queer themselves don't use the correct pronouns for my other friend who uses them or me because well, you know, transphobia but they claim it's because using "they" in a singular sense is just too awkward for them to do that for my one other friend who uses they/them and me. And I could talk about the suicide rate of non-cis kids in this town, but this is a positive post, right? It's why the Trevor Project is so important.

So anyway. Tumblr, Discord, and the internet, in general, have been the only hardline I have to a diverse queer network. I've been on this site since sometime in early 2009, and you know, before that, I was on Livejournal, and before that, I was on fan forums, Yahoo! Groups, and Pro Boards. So I've been around. I've seen it all in real time. And even though I was not into anything to do with Superwholock, I saw all of that, and you know, I have never really been deep in a fandom. Not even when I was on Livejournal. I just have a massive aversion to oversaturation.

So. I've been watching 911 since the pilot. I was hyped for it because of Angela Bassett. I thought, "You're making Angela Bassett a cop and handing her a TV show; what could go wrong?" (That's rhetorical; don't @ me. I know better now.) Anyway. I was hooked from the first episode, and you have to understand when 911 premiered, I was in one of the darkest points of my life. I had finally been declared legally disabled, which I had been working toward for 3 years. So, you know, nobody on Tumblr was talking about this show. By the end of Season 1, a few of us were scratching around at things, but there wasn't much there.

Then, Season 2 happened, and you know, Season 2 was some of my best times in the 911 fandom. I was there when we were deciding on Beddie vs Buddie. I was there when the first Buck/Eddie fic was posted to AO3. I even wrote some back then. It was a completely different energy then. There was an entire Discord server of us who were mortified that "Be Careful What You Wish For" was likely about the part of fandom that wanted Eddie and Shannon to end, but the consensus was, "WTF, we wanted her gone, but not like that!" And then, you know, the people celebrating it got louder and louder, and I was in fandom less and less until I stopped posting about 911 entirely on Tumblr.

Eventually, I made a new blog, this blog, not because of that, but because Tumblr shadowbanned my old blog, and nothing I posted would show up in tags. And you know, I was a big fandom creator and roleplayer, and I had to start all over. But I was still watching 911. I never stopped. I also watch Lone Star, and oh, the stories I could tell about the early days of Lone Star when 911 OG purists were throwing hissy fits that Lone Star content was getting tagged as 911. Seriously, it was a knockdown, drag-out fight to watch. But anyway, you know, I'm watching, and I'm waiting. I'm waiting for Evan Buckley to be confirmed as bisexual as I get my Henren scraps and cry over everything they do to Josh.

Then, the show gets canceled. But OMG, it's Immediately picked up by ABC, so trying to understand how to feel was indescribable. Because Seasons 5 and 6 sucked, they sucked, and I won't be convinced otherwise, and I was despairing because I was going to have to jump ship. And then the show jumped networks. So, I'm figured what do I have to lose?

So, I am still reeling from the Cruise ship disaster and rescue. And I'm going, "Is my show back? It's kind of back, right?" while also going, "And Tommy's back, and he's getting along with everyone. Sure, why not?" And then, you know, Episode 4 happened, and I'm watching it wondering what the hell is going on. Is Tommy going to be a recurring character now? And then you know Buck was an idiot, and you know I thought it was about Eddie, and I was kind of mad because really? The cast and crew get kicked around by their ship's fans, and you're giving them this? Because anyone who tells me watching that episode as it was airing that they thought Buck was doing that for Tommy before the loft scene, I'm calling horseshit because I've been watching since episode 1

I've wanted Bi Buck for as long as I can remember. And it was not until the loft scene that I even realized something was happening. I didn't know what it was, but something was off. And some point, I was standing on the couch freaking out at my TV, going, "WHY ARE THEY STANDING SO CLOSE TOGETHER? WHAT IS HAPPENING RIGHT NOW?" And then, you know, the kiss happened, and thankfully, no one was living next door in my duplex at the time because I was not quiet about my joy, and I sprained my freaking knee. I was so chaotic in my reaction. (I had to go to urgent care. It was a whole thing. Eh, my joints suck because of chronic illness. I told you I was on disability a long time ago, okay.) And you know, once I simmered down, I ran to this blog to post about it because 4 episodes on a new network, and they gave me Bi Buck.

And you know, I tried so hard to find a voice for Tommy in my head, but I couldn't. I didn't have enough material to do it. I appreciated everyone who could do it because I read your fic, which was great. I didn't even get into the fandom for it until Season 8 because I couldn't wrap my head around the ship, but I was going to sit there as long as it took to understand Tommy because it's Bi Buck's canon ship. Of course, I want to be able to write it myself. That's what I do. And right about when Tommy brought Buck avocado toast, I got it. Everything synced up in my head, and I understood it. I could go back and look at things and understand why Tommy did things now.

So, during that break for Halloween, I was writing little things and not posting them. I had already at the start of Season 8 found a Discord server, and I was hanging out in the tag. I was looking through follow lists people posted and zipping through them. And yeah, sue me. I call it Tevan because that's what Tommy calls him. That's not a judgment on anyone; it's just my preference. I forgot to mention that I was also there when shit hit the fan during the Season 7 hiatus and trying to survive in my old 911 Discord Servers, but people were awful for no reason. I'm never gonna understand why a whole swath of fandom hated the ship to the point that they were causing traumatic harm to other people, especially queer men in fandom. That's just so beyond me, and, again, another reason we need the Trevor Project is that queer men fetishists on Tumblr do not constitute a safe community for queer people. But I'm getting off track.

So you know, they broke up Buck and Tommy in the next freaking episode, and I had a lot of feelings. I posted a lot of them here. Some of them conflict because you know the human brain can handle more than one viewpoint. Gray areas are my bread and butter when it comes to media. Anyone gets puritanical about anything; I don't care what you ship; I will remove you from my curated experience because I don't need it. It's not healthy.

I've been writing more and more about this ship since the breakup. I even wrote a fixit for the breakup. And you know what happened in the show compared to what people say in interviews? There's a huge disconnect. In any other situation, especially given it's 911 and the Abby of it all, you would expect this to not be over because that's not how Buck's big love interests work. Most of his relationships end with him being too invested, but you don't get to call it a pivotal relationship for Buck and say it's over cold turkey. That's crappy writing because it completely goes against his characterization.

But I didn't realize how attached many people were to Tommy. I felt like I finally met him in the Halloween episode, and bam, he's gone in the next. So much wasted potential. So much drama. So many harassed actors and crew members. So many "journalists" acting like it's their blog is the gossip section of their high school newspaper, but they get screeners? So much crap happened, and what was it all for? So Buck can pine for Tommy and cause Los Angeles County to go on a flour ration? Like? I don't get it. So yeah. If the show wants to fix this mistake because this one they did leave themselves a contingency plan by not killing the man, they can fix it.

So bring back Tommy. If you do, I'll think about forgiving you for Amir's storyline last season. But we still need to talk about what messages we're sending people in these episodes. Those teenage girls do not deserve to get blamed because a grown man went rage quit to the max. The copaganda is SO HIGH that I can't even watch Athena's scenes now. And there's a bunch more I won't list because we're talking about Tommy and how you need to bring him back. I love these characters, but I'm tired of them repeatedly getting the same trauma and outcomes. You finally let queer people kiss again on your show, and then you get rid of one of them?

Anyway. I'm going to keep writing BuckTommy because I need something good to happen in fandom as I continue to watch this ridiculous show. And if you read this whole thing. I'm sorry that this is how it ends.

[vivaballerina]

HOLY MOLY THE ITHACA SAGA

Before I construct comprehensible thoughts- JANASNAKAKAKNSKAKDHBDHCNCJCKDOJSJWNSXLCNKSKSOQIWUWGSGSUDJJCGSJKSKSOAOWISUDUDHHDBEBSBCHDIWBJWIWIQOWNDBSKSKSJSKSJSJJAKQOQOQOSIDYTXTXVSVSHWNNMXZLLZOZSOJWHWHS

Okokokok so- first of all- I spent the entirety of the saga with my hand over my mouth. I said “Oh shit” a lot with varying emotions, and I cried even more with an even wider range of feeling. The best way for me to rant is by song, so:

The Challenge: PENELOPE’S VOICE IS ANGELIC OH MY GODS- and her MUSIC is AHHHHHHH. I love the more ‘classical’ sound (idk I don’t know anything abt music) and Jay was absolutely right about it soaring. Also waiting jumpscare :)))

Hold Them Down: I’ve been waitinggggggg for this song to release ever since I saw the birthday spoof. It did NOT disappoint. Like Ik it shouldn’t be a hype song but I felt so badass listening to it. Actually I think all the “villain’s” songs cuz I felt the same way about Thunderbringer and Get in the Water :)) THE VIBES. Like sending shivers down my spine (in good and bad ways.) AND ANTONIUS’S VOCALS WITH THE SUITOR’S CHANTING IN THE BACKGROUND IS AMAZINGGGGG-

Odysseus: Jaw dropped. The whole dam time. AHHHHHHHHHHHH. Ok so Ody’s electric guitar is BACK and ✨dangerous✨ as ever- ALSO ODYSSEUS BEING CHANTED EXACTLY LIKE POLYPHEMUS’S??? LIKE I GENUINELY THOUGHT IT WAS POLYPHEMUS’S NAME FOR A SECOND. I’ve also been waiting for this one specifically for the “You think I don’t know my own palace?” Line. It was delicious. Also I really love how the final boss battle IS Ody himself- and we’re through the suitor’s pov because symbolism. Imma break this one down a little bit more not at 1:36 am. UM THE SUITOR FUCKED UP WITH THE OPEN ARM SUGGESTION- BUT WHAT REALLY GOT ME WAS ODY’S RESPONSE BEING SO CASUAL? AMUSED? LIKE I WAS SHOOKTH. (Can you tell I’ve been shookth?) AND I WAS DEF JUMPSCARED BY TELE’S MUSIC + QUICK THOUGHT. LIKE ATHENA JUST ADOPTED TELEMACHUS AND I LOVE IT.

I Can’t Help But Wonder: 360 TURN WITH VIBES- and this is where the crying began. It was SOSOSOSOSOSO ADORABLE. It gave me such Dear Theadosia energy and that one makes me cry every time too. And then he hit us with the quick thought. And Athena. AND ATHENA. AND THEY MADE UP. BUT HE’S THE MONSTER. BUT ATHENAAAAAAAAAA

Would You Fall in Love With Me Again?: By this point I was just BAWLING. Before even the song starts after he calls her name I LOVE THE INSTRUMENTAL IT’S SO PRETTY. K, anyways- I love this song. It shows Ody’s character development- his acceptance of the monster rawr rawr rawr- but like by accepting it he can move on? Idk I’m really tired and still kinda crying. But it made me unbelievably warm and fluffy inside while still absolutely gutting me and I LOVE IT. Have I made that point clear yet? Louder for the people in the back? I LOVE ITTTTT.

I’m not ready for criteria yet- I just need to enjoy an overall AMAZING saga and the End. Of. Epic. (Not actually the end but yk what I mean guys.) I literally joined the fandom after the Underworld Saga was released so I honestly have no right to feel sentimental, BUT STILL. IT’S THE END OF AN ERA.

Wait I realized as I put the tags in that the last two titles line up:

I can’t help but wonder, would you fall in love with me again?

[calculatorloser]

Figurines! when gojo doesn’t get the hype about your sonny angels 😔😔

clenching the little box in anticipation as you pray to the heavens that you get the desired sonny angel. “Please i beg i just need this one mini figure before i finish the entire collection” you plead hoping that the heavens will hear you. Raising an eyebrow, your boyfriend Gojo Satoru, looks at you disinterested. “I really don’t get what’s so nice about this naked baby whys it so expensive for 1 piece of plastic” you scowl at him. “Hey hey hey don’t you dare diss my precious babies like that.” “Yeah yeah just open the box praying won’t help you already bought it” you stick your tongue out at him returning your attention to the little box in your hand. You open the box body shivering in nervousness. Much to your dismay, you got a repeat. “NOO” you cry out. “See i told you. I really don’t get the point of these it makes you sad when you don’t get what you want” you heave out a sigh of disappointment. “Come on i’ll bring you out for dinner” But you really weren’t in the mood. he tugs at you while you drag your feet. At home you kept thinking about the little figure. ‘Damn it. i knew i should have gotten the other box’ you thought. Shortly after, your thoughts were broken by a knock on the door. “Y/n are you done? let’s go for dinner” Gojo calls out. “One moment Satoru i’m changing” time skip! at the dinner table. He brought you to an italian diner the place was well lit with candle lights. “Hey listen i know how upset you were earlier so, i got you this” he says while taking something out of his pocket. You looked up to see the familiar little box in his hands. “Wait is that?!” “yeah cheer up alright?” You reach out for the box holding onto it tightly. You proceed to open the box but you stopped. “What’s wrong?” He asks. “I want you to open it for me” you say passing him the box. “Me? Alright but don’t blame me or be sad if i don’t get the one that you want” he says jokingly. “Hurry up toru i wana see what’d you get” Without further delay he proceeds to rip the bag open. Your eyes lit up when you see the little figure. “OH MY GOD SATORU THATS THE FIGURE IVE BEEN TRYING TO GET” You squeal rejoicing. “What can i say i am the Gojo Satoru after all” he says smirking proudly. “Shut up toru” “boo” sticking his tongue out in displeasure “hehe i love you so much” “Yeah yeah love you too”

i need a gojo satoru to buy me sonny angels too 💔💔

[stabbyfoxandrew]

no wipw tomorrow

sorry guys. i never even started on last week's (because Rascal's favorite spot to nap was right behind my desk chair and I simply couldn't make him move from his spot) and I just don't care about anything right now

thank you to everyone who's sent me love and asks and messages. you guys truly are the greatest friends i've ever had. i promise i'll answer as soon as i can.

(rambling diaerie entry below. you have been warned)

lately i have been using 4tw to document Rascal things. memories of him that i love, things i will miss about him, the final days where i was watching over him 24/7. i have a log of times i helped him up. this document is over 3000 words right now. i have too many precious precious memories and my memory is not very good (as you all know) so i am terrified i will forget things about him. i can't let that happen. so yeah.

jess and i watched dead boy detectives this weekend for a distraction. it was a very good show. i get the hype now. wish it hadn't been cancelled. uh...

oh. jess and me made Rascal peanut butter fudge on Friday evening. he was... he was very tired but he still raised his head up to smell for it. and then bit me gently when i gave it to him.

i took a video of him licking peanut butter off the spatula. and i also took a video of him drinking his water because he always drank water so gently. he licked so gently. but he would bite so hard sometimes. in a partially blind grumpy old man way. :')

i wish he was here to bite my fingers again. TwT i wish i had a video of him walking in the kitchen. his claws tapping on the linoleum is music i haven't heard in over a week and that i will never hear again.

on Sunday morning Jess and i were talking about the things we'd miss and i mentioned how he hadn't "talked" in a long time. and then a little later, he did a loud deep AWOOOO that our parents heard from the other end of the house. it was so beautiful. :(

i tried to make salt dough paw prints yesterday before we left. but he was really not in the mood to be bothered (which i understand completely but i had to try i needed to have this little thing from him) and they didn't turn out great. i dreamt last night i broke one and it devastated me.

uhhh god this got long. i'm not doing the super greatest or anything but i'm trying to be okay. to all my friends who were worried, i ate yesterday. for the first time in six years i carried only one plate to my room. i cried.

i didn't cry when i ate this afternoon but it was a near thing. i kept almost tearing off a piece of my roll to give Rascal (he loved bread so much. bread and sweets were his favorites) but then i'd remember.

anyway. just an update for you all. sorry for skipping wipw but an anon gave me permission and i appreciated it a lot thank you anon (i am being completely serious). if i attempted to work on anything i'm sure they would all turn out super angsty and i don't want to fuck up our current storylines. i'm not sure when i will start wipw again to be honest.

my ocd made me do it to keep Rascal safe (most of my ocd related Things were to keep Rascal safe) and now they're... well not moot but sort of. it's kind of fucking me up to think that no matter how Good i was, it didn't matter. he's still dead. like it's shaken my world view? which is so stupid but hey i can't afford therapy so... y'all have to listen to this insanity. actually you don't i will slap a read more at the top to spare you. just had to get some feelings out and i am not quite ready to talk one on one.

but i love you. i love you all so so much. please god kiss your dog for me. if you don't have a dog, kiss your cat. and if you don't have a cat give your turtle, rat, rabbit, spider, lizard, bird, etc a smooch instead.

okay i'll shut up now. thank you for reading

<3 aerie

[pycth]

EA SPOILERS ‼️

DAMIEN AND HUXLEY, MY BELOVEDS, OH HOW I’VE MISSED YOU

In full honesty I’ve never seen a miscommunication trope handled so well, I loved this 🥹

The way you can just imagine Huxley’s smile twitch when Damien says he doesn’t really care for Valentines Day then slowly fall when he kept going on—

I’m not entirely surprised about Damien’s disinterest in the holiday, I kinda had a feeling, I just thought the video was gonna be something along the lines of him simply putting that feeling aside for Huxley the big lover boy and maybe surprise him with some flowers while Hux gets all giddy like school girl who found a secret admirer note in her locker akdjakdsk (woe is my wishful thinking)

That subtle fast walk to the front door I just know Hux was doing while internally preparing himself for what he felt was the embarrassment of going overboard 😭

When Huxley cries, I cry.

Every time a character I love says they’re too much for feeling things so strongly, I am set on yet another hunting spree for the fuckers that made them think that nonsense

I said this on discord and I’ll say it again (ykyk)—

Just think of how excited Huxley must’ve looked setting up all the decorations the night before, probably had music to hype himself up, even sending photos of it all finished to Freelancer or even FaceTiming them to see what they think

Damien comforting Huxley for a change was so sweet, he was definitely holding Huxley’s face to make sure he was looking right at him and knew he meant what he was saying wholeheartedly

“You are a person that is overflowing with love to give, and that is not too much, that is fucking beautiful. And..the world is not a place that’s very kind to beautiful things like that. So..the fact that you are still who you are after all that is not something to apologize for.”

What if that was my limit, Erik—

They 100% still have that bear lmaooo

“You’re the only teddy bear I need” CRYYINNGG

Visualize with me, everyone, a decoration tangled Lasko trying to frantically find somewhere to hide said bear. Beautiful.

Bonus: HUXLEY WITH A JEEP CANON ‼️

[dragonsoulage]

Reno as a kpop-idol ~ headcanon

Hello world, currently I just had an idea. Like I am a metal girly but hey other genres are cool too. And it's all my besties fault that I kinda went obsessed over Yeonjun, because he remind me so hard to Reno. So here we are having a small kpop-idol Reno headcanon, have fun🌚✨

Warnings: fluff, and in the end a little suggestive

- kpopidol!Reno, who would be just so damn pretty, like the girl, the outfits, the hair, the attitude. He ate it up

-kpopidol!Reno, who is a solo artist, is doing his own songs

- kpopidol!Reno, who his fans are thirsting over him, and he knows he is fine—more than fine, actually. Always messing around

- kpopidol!Reno, who seems a little lost sometimes but he got sass in interviews, and that flirty attitude. Fan-made edits are always showing how dorky and confused he looks during questions.

- kpopidol!Reno, who is cocky, although he needs to try to keep that down when he is on display, at least this is what his manager Rude says.

- kpopidol!Reno, who is eating up every choreo like it would be nothing, is a master at improvising some moves

-kpopidol!Reno, who is getting on the nerves of his manager Rude because he wants to do a collab with another idol Rufus, whose manager is Tseng. "Come on, you know that could make an ass of money. Fans would be literally crying, and believe me, I have seen that."

- kpopidol!Reno, who adores you, you were his cute little stylist. You were also the stylist of another K-pop artist duo. The duo was called "sweet & spicy," and the members were the girls Elena and Cissnei

-kpopidol!Reno, who always gives you a flirty line that makes you blush. "Oh, there she is, that cute style queen. So what do we have in store today? Mind to sit on my lap when tying my tie?" And for sure, he gives you a wink.

- kpopidol!Reno, who knows, you were that cute and nervous kind of person with that small giggle because you couldn't help yourself. "You won't wear a tie today, so it's not necessary."

-kpopidol!Reno, who always is searching eye contact with you while you moved around trying to select what would fit him today for the show. Beautiful turquoise orbs following your every movement and always that smug grin on his face

-kpopidol!Reno, who was such a handsome man, was an absolute eye catcher as an idol. And the fans screamed for him below the stage. Although he enjoyed the attention, it was you who he was interested in

- kpopidol!Reno, who waited for you to give him all his clothes. You waited for him to change, but well, for his shirt, he extra changed right in the same room as you. Abs flexing while he pulled down his shirt, his strong chest...you tried to look away, but you couldn't

-kpopidol!Reno, who is messing with you "Are we staring, darling?" Reno asked before he flashed you a toothy grin. Setting his goggles on top of his head for what he was so known for

-kpopidol!Reno, who knows when he sees you panic a little and hide your face behind your hair. "Never would do... do that. Don't you need to go on the stage by now?" You tried to distract it.

-kpopidol!Reno, who is trying to be a little soft with you, "Just messing a little, sweetheart." he was flirty, yes, but he tried to be not too forward at all with you. Since you were a little shy in his presence.

- kpopidol!Reno, who comes to you before the show starts, just to brush a strand of hair behind your ear. "Watch me, closley, yeah? Want you to enjoy the show."

-kpopidol!Reno, who is turning back to you shortly before, he needs to go on stage. Leaning close, making the kabedon move, is what makes you so weak in the knees. "And after that, you let me invite you to dinner, yeah? No need to answer; I know we are going."

-kpopidol!Reno, who was hyping up the crowd even more when he entered the stage with such an entrance song and dance.

-kpopidol!Reno, who makes extra little moves to flash his abs or stick out his tongue, he is sexy but a little silly. All girls are just yelling for more.

-kpopidol!Reno, who knows that he probably will be trending in TikTok with all the edits that will be made when he flashed his sweaty abs in a dance choreo.

-kpopidol!Reno, who sometimes watches you out of the corner of his eyes because you stood right in the backstage area next to the mainstage watching his show intently

-Kpopidol!Reno, who winks at you so shortly when he does a spin with a cocky grin, making you feel all kinds of butterflies in the tummy

-kpopidol!Reno, who runs to you between a small break, you already had a bottle of water in your hand, just like his assistant, but well, he likes you far more. Who grabs the bottle from your hand so your fingers would be brushing? "Enjoying it, pretty? Nearly seems like you can't take off your eyes,  hm."

- kpopidol!Reno who saw you nodded sweetly. Not even denying you watched indeed every move. "You doing great. And the outfit I choose fits really well." You answered

-kpopidol!Reno, who chuckled shortly and tilted up your chin. "Anything you choose for me fits. Like you fit me, right? Don't forget the dinner, baby." But before you could answer, he already went to the rest of the show

- kpopidol!Reno, who always was flirty but only had eyes for you. Stealing kisses in the private area with you when no one was watching. "Reno, someone could be walking in. " You mumbled between the kisses, but he didn't even give you a chance to think, instead pulling you closer against him and gently biting your lip. "Calm downy babygirl, no one's going to find out." Before he explored your mouth with his tongue again

- kpopidol!Reno, who tells Rude about you. "You can't be serious? You know that cannot be published. You always would need to be on your toes. What about her?" Rude was kind of complaining, although he could understand that Reno fell for you; after all, you were so sweet.

-kpopidol!Reno, who had a secret relationship with you, everything private. "Well, she is my stylist. No one will know a thing. I just turned to... really like her. After all, she is a shy little thing, so it's not like she ever would make a public appearance even when we could."

-kpopidol!Reno, who lets you watch when he is learning a new choreo, needs an opinion, if he looks hot. Of course he does; he just wants praise from his girl

-kpopidol!Reno, who always tells you how much he loves you because he always acted cocky and flirty, it was expected from him as this kind of idol. But he never wants to make you sad with this.

-kpopidol!Reno, who got the best looks simply because of your skill in style and fashion, especially for the music video shoots

-kpopidol!Reno, who would raise an eyebrow when he finally makes a collab with the other idol Rufus, and you styled both of them. "Sweet girl." Rufus remarked shortly when you disappeared to get some other stuff.

-kpopidol!Reno, who tried not to show his jealous side; after all, you just had eyes for him.

-kpopidol!Reno, who always calls for you during the shoot. Just to be kind of territorial. "Hey there, pretty. Think my jaket is a little lost here? Can you fix?"

-kpopidol!Reno, who literally decided to ravish you in the backstage area in his changing room, after the shoot was done. It was a little risky, but he was always was a risky guy, wasn't he?

-kpopidol!Reno, who coos at you. "Good girl, all my fucking good girl, that's right, ya?" While he is thrusting hard to rearrange your insides. With your cute noises muffled against his shoulder.

-kpopidol!Reno, whose eyes widen when he hears the door, and it is gladly just Rude. "For heavens sake, can't you keep your dick inside your pants until you are home?" Rude cursing but immeditly left

-kpopidol!Reno, who simply has a good career and life because you were there to make it even better. Your pretty boy 💖

[wanderlust-in-my-soul]

Hi Josi 😊 For the Top 5 BL: Best Hug and / or Most Beloved Sidecouples ✨

Uuhhhh, two in one! Maxine, thank you for this ask ❤

I love a good hug. Seeing those feels like I get a hug (and sometimes it makes me feel really single). There are the hugs that you can feel through your screen, some of them you just want to look away, because this moment belongs only to the couple on screen, they are just so intimate and there are so ones where one wants to crawl into the other one and I am here for this kind of hug. This desperate need for each others closeness.

The start makes the oldest one on this list:

My School President

Their hugs just felt so good! I loved giffing those moments. They needed the other one physical close, they felt peace in those hugs and it was their way to show how much they cared for each other. I loved every single one of those hugs!

I just realised the next ones are all just some really desperate hugs... and I love them! I have a thing for them...

Kiseki: Dear To Me

This hug felt so good. Finally they were reunited again. Finally they could hold each other again. And damn this was such a beautiful hug! They hugged with their whole body and soul. Imagine holding the love of your life finally in your arms again after years of spending apart. I love it!

Tokyo In April Is...

There is no space for anything else between them. Kazuma made sure of that. He neeeded Ren to feel this hug, and for himself to feel this closeness again. Both are in love with each other, even though they couldn't tell each other yet, but for us viewers it was cristal clear. This hug alone made it clear for us. I love this hug so much!

Pit Babe

Yes Babe, cry because you're so happy to have Charlie back in your arms! Beautiful. I needed this, he needed this and Charlie needed this too! We all needed this! And I love Pavel's facial expressions in this moment.

I Feel You Linger I The Air

The most desperate hug after the most saddest fuck this year! Such a beautiful scene! They knew they didn't have much time left and just made love. They wanted and needed to feel every inch of each other, and it felt so intimate, I had the urge to look away and let them have this time alone in closeness and happiness and desperation.

And now after these beautiful scenes we go on to my favorite side couples 2023. I love a good side couple I can concentrate on and forget about the main couple 😅

The first couple is one of the most precious ones of this year. We knew them and we knew they had incredibly chemistry and could act really nice, but nevertheless they blew us away:

Heart and LiMing from Moonlight Chicken

Their story was so wholesome and important. Their journey was so good. LiMing's struggles with his mum and his uncle, the money and the fact that he wanted to see the world were so ordinary and felt so real it was so good. And Heart's problems with his parents and the urge to be more independent and to be seen felt so sad and Gemini was so good. Oh I love these two and their stories!

Next we have a show I didn't like that much, but I was in love with the side couple. They were the only reason why I kept up with this show.

Zeke and Fifth from My Story

They had an extreme intense chemistry. I loved them on screen and their journey to finally become a couple. I was hyped for their own show and was so let down. I couldn't watch it. It was too much cringe for me, but this is just personal preference. In My Story I adored them and this scene especially.

Next is the couple, that has the most entries in all of my Top 5s this year:

AiDi and ChenYi from Kiseki: Dear To Me

I love them. They stole the show and my heart. Their dynamic is so adorable after they finally become a thing. In the beginning I was a little put off. I didn't understand their relationship, but within a few episodes this changed I was rooting for them so much! I was so happy when ChenYi finally understood his feelings for AiDi and AiDi finally got what he wanted desperatley for years!

I don't know if the next one counts... The show has three couples and I guess one was the main couple. Well, I cared more about the other ones.

Love Class 2

Maru and Minwoo had the softest kiss this year in my opinion and Sungmin and Joohyuk had this lap-situation and everything else that came after. I really enjoyed their stories and their characters. The main couple was just not that interesting for me. But because of the side couples (or the other main couples) I enjoyed this series so much!

I close this list with a couple, that is a little bit problematic for me. I don't like the series that much, mostly because of the main couple and the bad writing for them. But the writing for this side couple was so much worse!

Jaab and Jane from Step By Step

I was so pissed with their ending! What was that? There was no real conclusion and I still don't know if they are happy together now. They had this huge cheating plot (and I like those tropes, but only with a good solution in the end) and before they could work on that Jane was never seen again. This was so sturpid, I was so angry. I wanted them to have their own stupid happily ever after, but no, we have some creepy stalker like behavior and some mystery... no thank you, but besides that I liked them so much and I wanted so much more of them!

Ask me Top 5 BL Anything from 2023